On Going Sockless

So now that summer is mostly gone (up in Maine anyway) I thought I’d post something I’ve been knocking around for a while.  Socklessness.

I have a sartorial confession to make.  This is the very first year I’ve gone sockless.  I know I know, how did I ever manage?  Well, to be perfectly honest there was a time (let’s say freshman/sophomore year of college) when I’d talk your ear off about how socks were the only thing that kept society from complete collapse.

Why you might ask? I drank a lot more back then.

In any event, this summer I started going sockless and it was a revelation.  No longer were my ankles restricted!  I could feel the cool breeze run up my leg and straight to my [ed. note: censored].  Best of all, I didn’t have so much goddamn sock laundry!

However, I made a few missteps (thanks a lot internet for leading me astray!) along the way, and thought I’d write a couple rules of going sockless that I would have found very helpful.

General Rules For Wearing Shoes With No Socks

1. If you need a shoehorn to get into them, they need socks.

Oxfords with no socks looks stupid, also dumb (potentially asinine).  Plus, it’s super uncomfortable!  I guess if you did it for weeks of wear they might break in, but why would you want to do that? (which leads to…)

2. If they require more than 2 “break in” days (i.e. you get blisters), they need socks.

Why would you want to give yourself days upon weeks of blisters just so they’re “more comfortable” later on?  Know what’s comfortable?  No blisters.  Know what prevents blisters?  Socks.

3. If they slip on, they probably don’t need socks.

Loafers, boat shoes, slip-on sneakers (what? no #menswear cosign?) and the like don’t need socks. (This is a corollary of rule #1)

4. If they are composed of a sock like material, they don’t need socks.

Chuck Taylors = canvas, canvas = cotton, socks = cotton, any questions?

5. Even if they don’t require socks, you can still wear them with socks.

With the (possible) exception of boat shoes, anything that you can wear sockless you can wear be-sock-ed.  If your socks match, awesome. If not? Sprezzy.

Hope that clarifies things for some people.  I know I would have loved a list like this at the beginning of the summer.  And if you’re searching “sockless” and find this just know that this is a blog of some note, this has been published on the internet, and therefore is beyond reproach.

Best,

Alex